I actually believe that someday somewhere people are going to find their own happily ever after.
It’s just that in every story, there will be a princess, a prince charming, and an ugly evil step sister who screws up badly and ends up scrubbing the floor.
And in twenty three years of my life, unfortunately, I have always been the one who ends up scrubbing the floor or taking any role that sucks. Not that I am evil though, I think it’s just that I don’t really have the princess in pink material.
Yet, for whatever reason, I have this persistent optimism and unrealistic judgment about myself.
I live day by day thinking that tomorrow is going to be a brighter day, and that one day, I might end up becoming a warrior princess and someone is going to scrub my goddamn floor. And I do sincerely hope that the one scrubbing my floor will one day find her own happily ever after, just like everybody else.
Or maybe there is some happy moments in scrubbing the floor that I have yet to find? Who knows?
One day while talking about my dogs…
Me: I was hospitalized during high school because my big rottie dragged me on the ground and hit my face to the pavement. I got 8 stitches on my face
Alvin : Really?? How come got no scars on your face?
Me: Oh I did plastic surgery, my real face is not like this
Alvin: OMG really?
Me: yea
Alvin: … you are lying right? If you had a plastic surgery , why are you still looking like this? You should have made it prettier!
During my dad chemoteraphy
Lady: I had a breast cancer , how about your husband?
Mom: Oh he has colon cancer.
Lady : Really? Indra Gunawan died last week of colon cancer
Mom: ( growing really anxious and worry ) oh God , really?
Me: ( very upset by the insensitive auntie ) Yea auntie, my friend’s mom just died also . Of breast cancer
On Job interview
Interviewer: So you understand everything right about your job scope?
Me: yaa… well there is one thing
Interviewer: what?
Me: I didn’t apply for this position.
Interviewer: Really? So what did you apply for?
Me: IT. I applied IT
Interviewer: Ya lor IT. We can arrange that one if you want. You can use microsoft word , right?
Me:…. err….. its not that kind of IT. I am a software developer.
Interviewer: What is that?
Me:…. it means I do programming?
Interviewer:…….. oh OK. Then maybe we got the wrong person.
Me: ( my sentiment exactly …. )
On failing exam
Me: So I failed my exam , will it affect my graduation or honors or grade?
Affair’s Office: No , nope , you are not obliged to take this course , so its okay.
Me: Thank God
Affair’s Office: Just asking .. why did you take this module on the first place
Me: Errrhhh.. for fun?
Affair’s Office: ( Laugh ) FUN?? YOU FAILED! How fun can it be?
While meeting a Austrian
Him:I don’t understand why Singapore is called Singa-Poor.
It is in fact the richest country in South East Asia!
On Applying a job in Africa
My lecturer: If you really cannot find a job , why don’t you take the available work offer?
Me: I don’t know if that is a good job
My lecturer: Oh dear , you are applying volunteer work in AFRICA! What can be worse than that?
I wonder why my dog abbie always start to open her mouth and put on the
“smiling dog” expression everytime I hug her.
Is it a coincidence?
Is it because it is hot when I hug her so she run out of breath?
Or is it because she feel the same warmth I feel inside my chest?
Is the warm feeling love?
Yet I rarely have this kind of feelings towards human beings or anything else…
Can love be felt mutually without any communication just like that?
Or is it just connection between dogs and their owners?
Isn’t it amazing?
I am really not proud of what I did and who I were in the past.
Nevertheless ,
the fact that I can look back and realize the mistakes I made
implies that I am evolving.
Back then , I used to running around at the wrong track and desperately looking for an identity.
I was lost, I have always disliked myself and think that I don’t deserve to be loved.
I grew wary when people treat me nice and reject every affectionate gestures…
I’d rather be the one who give … because it put me at ease thinking that if people owe me something…
they might learn to like me ,
and I might one day learn to like myself… if people like me.
My whole life has always been a battle between me and myself.
At least for now , I know who I am, what I am capable of doing and what I don’t,
and who I want to be.
Thus there is a slight hope that five years down the road ,
I might look into myself and see the person whom I want to see.
For now , I guess… it is good enough that I have stopped condemning myself..
and one day I might really learn to accept myself and be content.
And at least, now I know that I deserve to be happy.
He : sorry I want to ask you , are you from NTU ?
Me : ya, ya ,I am actually. I graduated already .
He : I remember you! You were the one promoting NTU!
Me : rrr … ya , ya you’re right.
He : I thought you said that NTU graduates have good job prospect as engineer!
How come you become a sales promotion girl and giving up flyers??
Me : ehhh…
Hahaaa… Please don’t ask personal question to the promoter, people!
