Looking Back….
I am really not proud of what I did and who I were in the past.
Nevertheless ,
the fact that I can look back and realize the mistakes I made
implies that I am evolving.
Back then , I used to running around at the wrong track and desperately looking for an identity.
I was lost, I have always disliked myself and think that I don’t deserve to be loved.
I grew wary when people treat me nice and reject every affectionate gestures…
I’d rather be the one who give … because it put me at ease thinking that if people owe me something…
they might learn to like me ,
and I might one day learn to like myself… if people like me.
My whole life has always been a battle between me and myself.
At least for now , I know who I am, what I am capable of doing and what I don’t,
and who I want to be.
Thus there is a slight hope that five years down the road ,
I might look into myself and see the person whom I want to see.
For now , I guess… it is good enough that I have stopped condemning myself..
and one day I might really learn to accept myself and be content.
And at least, now I know that I deserve to be happy.
no comments yet.
